Venus Envy: Sexual Enlightenment

One of the incredible things about kink is that it can give you a place to thoughtfully explore your edges. But when you’re taking more risk, you also want to think more intentionally about safety…. Continue reading here or click the image above!

Lately, one of the most common questions I’m helping people grapple with is the one at the center of your letter: is it asexuality, or is it something else?… Continue reading here or click the image above!

First, vaginal fisting is not the same thing as punching someone in the vagina. That’s up there in the most ridiculous sentences I’ve ever typed — and yet it’s still the most common misconception I hear… Continue reading here or click the image above!

A surprising thing I’ve discovered through my time at Venus Envy is that most people love to talk about their experiences of sex education in high school. Not because they got incredible sex ed, but because their experiences have been outrageously bad… Continue reading here or click the image above!

Before I was a sex educator, I also had my doubts about the g-spot. I had read about it in Cosmo, but they made it seem like a magical, mythical thing that could only be found by looking into a mirror, turning in circles, and saying “G-spot” three times out loud… Continue reading here or click the image above!

My first piece of advice is that you should expect this to freak out your partner. Especially if you’ve never talked about opening up before, this conversation might come as a shock…. Continue reading here or click the image above!

Why do some women enjoy anal sex, while others don’t? I know it has a lot to do with personal preference — but I also wonder why some women are so repulsed by the idea that they think women who like buttsex must be lying.

What is it about specific bodies that take pleasure in playing with an otherwise strictly exit hole?  Is there physical or structural differences that may explain this preference?

Read the answer here or click the image above!

If I could change the way that sex is represented in the media, one of the first things I would do is make it look more awkward. Because bodies are so beautifully weird, sex is sometimes strange and funny. Continue reading here or click the image above!

I don’t know what to do. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a few months now and I think things are going well. It’s just that our sex life is so vanilla. I want to explore with him and use toys but I don’t think he’d be into it (he seems very shy). Continue reading here or click the image above!

Our cultural obsession with penis size is profound. So profound in fact, that in 2016 Donald Trump defended his penis size on live TV, in the middle of a presidential debate. This is not even the first presidential penis we’ve been obsessed with, which shows just how strong the links are between penis size, masculinity, and power. Continue reading here or click the penis above!

At Venus Envy, I’ve had conversations with women in their 50s and 60s who have been faking orgasms for the full 30 years of their relationships! Continue reading here or click the image above!

Sexuality is a lot more fluid than we would like to believe. Attraction can also be really confusing, especially when it’s up against the narrative that all queer people have always known that they were queer. Though that’s definitely one way that people experience their sexuality, lots of us spend years thinking we just really love gay porn before realizing that it goes a bit deeper than that. Continue reading here or click the image above!

In a culture of hookups, one-night stands, and casual sex, how does one know if it’s the right time to actually bring up the topic of initiating sex? What would you recommend one do, especially when they find it difficult to balance emotional closeness with sexual exploration? Continue reading here or click the image above!

We live in a culture that values neverending relationships. Seriously, if there is any myth about success that rivals the popularity of the ‘pull yourself up by the bootstraps’ fairy tale, it’s the myth that romantic success means finding one person early on in life and staying with them forever. Continue reading here or click the image above!

A lot of people get the majority of their sex information from porn. Sometimes it’s pretty obvious that the scene is strictly fantasy, and unlikely to ever happen in real life. But this is one situation where I want to emphasize the huge difference in porn sex versus real-life sex, because porn spawns a lot of myths here. Continue reading here or click the dildo above!

I’ve been with my partner for almost a year and he really enjoys the sex we have. I, on the other hand, can never manage to get off when we’re having intercourse. I’ve tried guiding his hand, I’ve tried being subtle with my approach but sex with him, while amazing unto itself, has just gotten a bit tedious. Continue reading here or click the image above!

My partner and I have been together for quite a while now and we have a great sex life, though it is a tad vanilla. I’ve always had an interest in BDSM but I’m not quite sure how to broach the subject with my partner, especially since we’re already so happy in bed. How would you recommend I introduce some kink into the bedroom without either spoiling the possible surprise or scaring or turning off my partner? Continue reading here or click the image above!

I am a survivor of sexual abuse and have found maintaining meaningful, healthy sexual relationships difficult. It seems that every time I put myself out there, I keep falling into the same routine and find myself pulling away too soon in order to protect myself. What advice would you give someone who has survived sexual abuse yet cannot seem to navigate the tricky waters of dating in Ottawa? Continue reading here or click the image above!

Dear VE, My partner and I have been together for quite a while now and we care for each other deeply. Recently, my partner’s libido seems to have taken a nosedive and, while we enjoy being around each other, we don’t have sex as frequently as we used to. I’m still a very sexual person… Continue reading here or click the image above!

Dear VE, I recently started dating someone and we get along really well. He’s about ten years older than I am but he is far less sexually experienced, in part because he is still in the closet. We’re still too early on in our relationship to have anal sex but we have had oral sex… Continue reading here or click the image above!

A lot of public rhetoric appears to demonize female sexuality. Growing up, I would get rather embarrassed when I masturbated and, as an adult, seem to have internalized a lot of that embarrassment. Would you discuss the health and emotional benefits of female masturbation? Continue reading here or click the image above!

Dear Venus, as a cis-gay man, safer sexual practices are very important to me. Unfortunately, most organizations around Ottawa think that condoms are the only freebies worth distributing. As such, I often have to resort to buying lube. Could you elaborate on the importance of lube and what each kind is for? Continue reading here or click the image above!