Many of us assume that animals of all shapes and sizes tend to jump each other for a rump about without so much as a howdy do. While this is true, a good number of animals have been kissing gently, doing sexy dances and working their tongues long before you discovered what foreplay even was.
Knowing how to get the other in the mood is the fine art of foreplay, a dance to set the mood and get the illustrious juices flowing. If you’re not doing it, or have just crawled out from under a rock, get to it you animal you!
Sexy Animal Foreplay
We humans are, by and large, the only animals that kiss for pleasure. There are books written on this subject alone (trust me). Parrots and bonobos perform a similar “kiss”: the former lock their beaks and swirl their tongues, while the latter suck on one another’s tongues for ten minutes to get themselves in the mood. In these animals, like in humans, kissing in often the first step towards making a true connection.
However, certain moves should only be used by certain species. Please don’t follow the White-fronted Parrot’s example of throwing up into the mouth — considered a gift of food.
Like Chippendale dancers, certain spiders perform mock sex moves to impress potential mates. This also helps them differentiate between a mate and lunch on the web. It’s been noted that this “dance” keeps the female insects happy. The only downside has been that too much dancing tuckers them out and allows another spider to move in. But don’t despair: practice leads to improved chances of sex over time.
The messy, yet titillating bounty that is oral sex is no stranger to the animal kingdom. Fruit bats have been observed practicing both fellatio and cunnilingus late into the night. This fervent licking has been shown to prolong intercourse (though bats only get an extra twenty seconds or so). Some may say that scientists really didn’t need to go deep into the jungle at night to watch bats give each other oral sex to tell you that it leads to better intercourse. But they did. You’re welcome.
Don’t be shy, give some of these a try! Please please please avoid the advice of pandas. There’s a reason they’re not doing so well…too much hugging.
